Having started a dialogue on VK with a guy you like, you probably want to attract his attention and arouse interest. There are a few simple rules that will help you easily strike up a conversation.

If he wrote first, how to react

This option is the easiest. The only thing you need is to show maximum friendliness. Do not answer dryly or in monosyllables, however, do not “go too far” - there is no point in writing long memoirs, answering banal questions. In general, the main thing is to know the measure.

What to write to him if we are strangers

First of all, you need to apply to him to add "friends". However, if he opened access to information on his page for all users, and people who are not on his friends list can also write messages to him, then you can simply send him some message. Perhaps he will be interested in the usual: “Hi. How are you?".

But it's better if your first message is not so impersonal - let him understand why he aroused your interest. You can write: “Hi. I stumbled across your page and just couldn't take my eyes off your dog. If it's easy, tell me something about this breed. If there is no dog, then you can note that he has an amazing bike, you want the same and are interested in its characteristics. Having noticed that he goes to the gym, write that you have been looking at this particular institution for a long time, and you want to find out from a real client how convenient it is to work out there. This way you can beat almost any noteworthy detail that you see on his page.

You are each other's "friends"

It may be that you crossed paths somewhere, and one of you was added to the other as “friends”, but then the correspondence did not take place. Just wait for him to post a new post and comment on it - praise the song, give an opinion on some philosophical quote, etc. You can write him a personal message, noting some change in his appearance. You may have seen that the guy has been to some interesting place - just ask him about it.

Resume communication after a long pause

It is possible that once you communicated, but now it is in the past. In general, in this situation it is also appropriate to start a casual conversation, to take an interest in the affairs of the interlocutor. Although, if you interrupted the connection due to a quarrel, then you can carefully raise this issue by admitting that you were wrong and offering to make contact.

What can you tell a guy about yourself when texting

Of course, in correspondence, you should not talk about what guys are of little interest in - in which salon you did your manicure, the advantages of one face mask over another, and the like. Leave such conversations for girlfriends.

Interests, hobbies

Perhaps you are fond of dancing, yoga, roller skating or fitness classes - all this will not be superfluous to tell a young man about yourself. In addition, for sure, he will like the fact that you are trying to keep yourself in shape. Also, any guy would be interested to know about your creative hobbies - painting, photography, poetry. If you do not have any hobbies, then it's time to find them!

Surely, you have some ideas that you would like to bring to life in the near future. It is possible that you would like to visit some European city, or you want to go to an interesting master class. To maintain a conversation with a guy, you can also talk about what you plan to do next weekend.

A conversation about your favorite movie

Sometimes it is useful to switch to neutral topics. Now it is difficult to find a person who would not be fond of cinema. Ask what genre your interlocutor is closest to. Many young people are happy to watch films based on Marvel or DC comics, which have recently been at the peak of popularity and collect huge box office around the world. If you like "superhero movies", and you know for sure that the guy has some idea about them, then you can discuss famous heroes by sharing opinions about them with each other.

There are also many fans among the television projects "Game of Thrones", "The Big Bang Theory" and others, which will also be very entertaining to discuss. Write about your favorite characters, put forward theories regarding the further development of the plot. If your tastes do not overlap, and you watch completely different movies, then just share your opinion about certain films with each other. From this conversation, he will at least be able to find out what genres you are interested in and, perhaps later, you will go to the cinema together to see the picture that you previously discussed.

Interesting places for you

Tell us how you like to spend your time and what places you visit most often. We can talk about your favorite shopping center, cinema, gym, bowling alley, cafe, and so on. It is possible that in the course of the conversation it turns out that you often visit the same places, and this can serve as a good reason for a meeting.

How and what to write to please a guy

It happens that at first the correspondence goes quite cheerfully, but suddenly the interest of the interlocutor begins to fade. How to communicate with a guy to please him?

First of all, you need to show at least some interest in relation to the young man. Ask him about how his day is going, what plans he has for today. Remember what he said earlier. Perhaps he was going to visit somewhere - ask how it went. If he told about his pet, then ask how his four-legged friend is doing.

You should not bombard the guy with endless messages, but it is still desirable to demonstrate your friendliness. Do not ignore his messages, imagining how he suffers from the fact that you are online, but do not answer him. So you will not get a full-fledged dialogue. If you do not respond to most of his messages for several days, hoping that by doing so you will intrigue him, then gradually he will no longer want to write to you at all.

If a young man asks you some questions, then you do not need to answer them sparingly and in monosyllables. Give a detailed answer - of course, within reason. It would also not be bad to ask any questions to him, from time to time not being afraid to take the initiative in conducting a conversation.

Even if you have a lot of free time, then the guy doesn’t need to know that you have absolutely nothing to do with yourself - you shouldn’t be “online” for most of the day - this way you will gradually earn a reputation as a loafer. It’s a completely different matter if you work or are really busy with something, listening to music on VK and answering messages every few minutes or even hours. But it’s better to go online in the evenings for a couple of hours. This is quite enough for full-fledged virtual communication, and will not allow you to get bogged down in meaningless correspondence.

What questions can you ask a guy during correspondence

There are many topics that you can bring up with your interlocutor. Avoid asking too many questions about your ex and don't talk about things that are too personal - it's okay to talk about it in a more intimate relationship.

1. Learn about holidays with friends

Ask how often he goes out with friends, and if he likes company in general. It could also be that the guy you like is an introvert who doesn't like spending too much time with his buddies. In general, you can find out all this from him.

2. Bring up the theme of childhood

Somehow unobtrusively touch on the theme of childhood. Find out where the young man liked to go as a preschooler, whether any funny situations happened in his childhood, whether he remembers that period well. Also, do not forget to cover a more conscious age - find out if the guy liked to study at school, which subjects seemed more interesting to him than others, whether he kept in touch with school friends.

3. Discuss musical tastes

Surely, the guy you like has certain musical preferences that you can also discuss. Ask him if he had any idols as a teenager and what artists he listens to the most. You can also ask if he has a favorite song.

4. Favorite places in your city

Undoubtedly, in the city of residence of your interlocutor there are places that he prefers to visit more often than others - find out about these sights. In addition, you can find out why this or that institution is special for him.

5. Talk about travel

Find out what interesting corners of the world the guy has been to. Perhaps the geography of his travels is still limited only to the cities of his country - find out where he liked the most and where he would like to go again.

6. Ask about work or school

If you do not know this, then ask what the young man does - where he studies or works. Naturally, it is completely inappropriate to specify the amount of his salary. Just ask if he likes his field of activity, and why he chose it.

There are a few rules that should be followed so that the guy does not lose interest in you.

• You should not write to a young man several messages per minute - especially if he is not distinguished by such agility in correspondence. He has not yet had time to answer one message, and you write after the next? At this rate, your dialogue runs the risk of gradually degenerating into a monologue.
• Try to write without obvious grammatical errors - this is very annoying for some web users. Surely, in your browser you can find settings with which errors in your words (in VK, email, etc.) will be underlined in red.
• Some girls prefer to take signs of attention for granted, or even not notice them at all. If a guy praises your photo, noting that you look amazing, you don’t need to write: “I know!” or "You're not the first to tell me this." A modest enough: "Thank you for the compliment." Most men avoid arrogant girls, and it will not be very good if the young man you like thinks you are one.
• If you disagree on any issue - do not try to convince him that you are right, do not escalate the situation. You can simply indicate that you have a different opinion on this matter, but his point of view is also quite interesting. It is not necessary to prove to him that he is a fool who "does not understand anything" in this matter.
• Also, do not try to provoke a guy into jealousy by telling how many fans you have, how tired you are of them, and the like. If we are talking about "virtual" admirers, then the interlocutor himself will notice the activity on your page, and their discussion will not paint you at all. The maximum that you can do is to correctly answer the question about this or that person or about fans in general, if the guy asks you about it himself.

How to get a pen pal to ask you out on a date

Sometimes the correspondence is significantly delayed, but never leads to a real meeting. If a guy is in no hurry to ask you out on a date, then you have the opportunity to push him to this.

Little girly tricks:

• When chatting with a guy, let him know that you have a clear interest in him. You should not impose yourself, but do not forget to answer his questions, periodically be interested in his affairs, and maintain a dialogue.
• Perhaps soon the premiere of the film that he likes is expected. Hint that you are also waiting for this picture, and plan to visit the cinema when it comes out. You can also mention that a certain cafe opened in the city a long time ago, which you wanted to visit to taste sushi or burgers that your friends praised to you. The same can be written about some exhibition, theater and so on. Perhaps he does not know where to invite you, but after your words, this problem will disappear.
• Tell the guy that lately there has been a lot of work or study, but now you finally have free time, and you don’t even know where to get out, because for some reason no ideas are visiting you now. It is possible that he himself will give you an idea in which he will appear.
• If the guy is in no hurry to invite you on a date, and you have already begun to doubt that you are of interest to him, you will have to act more radically and directly tell that you really like to communicate with him, and I would like to "somehow cross paths" in the city for a cup coffee. According to his answer, you will understand whether a meeting is waiting for you soon, or whether you misjudged the signs of attention of this young man.

If you are a registered user on a dating site or in social networks, then you probably had to deal with the fact that it is quite difficult to start a conversation with a stranger - the “reality” instinct works. What if you are misunderstood, considered intrusive, or decided that you have no pride?

It is worth discarding all these doubts and just stick to simple rules during a conversation so as not to look stupid. Although, the concept of stupidity is very extensible.

1. Study profile/profile

So, the first and basic rule is that you need to get to know a person even before you enter into a dialogue with him. Check out his profile. Look at the photo - what is shown on it, which photo is chosen, read about his hobbies, pay attention to the spelling, whether he indicated marital status and other facts. After you make a first impression of a stranger, use the knowledge gained to start communication. If you have found common hobbies and interests, then half the work has already been done, it remains to write a message and start a conversation, you definitely have something to talk about, at least in the first three sentences.

2. Be original

You can write the words “hello, how are you,” but you can hardly stand out from the mass of other “writers”. Therefore, if you still have the courage to enter into a dialogue, then show originality. Think about what the first message from you should be. Perhaps a playful question in the spirit of “I see you like skiing, but how do you spend your time in the summer without snow?” will help to attract the attention of the man you like and thus start a dialogue. You should not start a conversation with the phrases: “What are you looking for here?”, “What are your plans for the evening?”, “I also like to drink” - this is unconstructive and rude. Reputation on the Internet is also a reputation.

3. Do not interrogate

Once you have begun to communicate with a man, try to keep the conversation in the spirit of small talk. This means that you do not need to ask direct questions: “How many children do you have?”, “What is the name of your ex-wife” and “What did you do in the 90s?”. Talk about general topics, look at the reaction, evaluate the sense of humor and literacy. You can ask all the questions that interest you later, when communication develops into something more, but at first an attempt to get into a person’s soul will be perceived solely as tactlessness.

4. Do not insist on contact exchange/meeting

If during the correspondence the person did not offer you to meet or at least use more real means of communication, you should not reproach him for this, and even more so insist on a date. Perhaps he has his own reasons for not going offline, which he is unlikely to tell you about. At the same time, if your plans are real communication, it makes sense to look for a new interlocutor, so as not to waste time chatting with an unrealistic man.

5. Don't impose

What is meant by this word? Writing one or two messages a day is normal, but 5-10 is already a lot? This is not the point at all. If you wrote a man a message, but he never answered it, you can try again. If the second message was ignored, back off. The same applies to dialogues. It’s one thing when you intensively correspond, ask each other questions, share impressions, discuss something and “keep in touch” all the time, and it’s quite another when a man answers your messages in monosyllables and once a week.

The main advantage of virtual communication is that you do not owe anything to anyone. You can interrupt the correspondence at any time or, conversely, translate it into real time. During communication, you have the opportunity to really somehow get to know a person and get an idea about him, so that during a date you feel more confident and relaxed. The main thing - do not be shy, and if you are looking for your love using the Internet, then this is your choice, and therefore - it is definitely the right one!

You have met the perfect young man you have been waiting for all these years. And he also seems to have a crush on you. However, in personal contacts or when communicating on social networks, you do not find the right words, topics for conversation. As a result, awkward pauses, minutes of silence and uncertainty in their own communication skills appear.

Young ladies communicate differently with men. Some girls easily find common topics, others get lost, not understanding what to talk about with a guy.

Of course, you will be very lucky if a man takes the initiative in a conversation, finds non-trivial topics for discussion, wanting to impress you with his erudition and intelligence. However, this happens quite rarely, so finding the right phrases and the right words is sometimes quite difficult.

Guys can also be shy, so girls have to take the initiative in their own hands - start the conversation first. Moreover, there are certain points of contact that help to establish constructive communication. So, what topics can you talk about with a guy:

1. Hobby:
   • How does a young man spend his free time?
   • What kind of sport (for example) do you like?
   • What do you like to do (maybe you have a lot in common)
2. Culinary theme:
   • What kind of food does he like?
   • Does he know how to cook, or does he prefer a woman to cook?
   • Tell us about your culinary talents.
3. Future plans:
   • What success does he want to achieve?
   • What prevents him or, on the contrary, helps him achieve his goals?
4. Books and films, including new items:
   • Favorite actors or actresses.
   • Favorite book as a child?
   • Tell us about your favorite literary characters.
   • What was the last movie he went to the cinema to see?
5. Pets:
   • Does he keep any pets at home?
   • Funny things about pets.
   • What breed of cat or dog would he like to have in the future?

However, there are certain taboos - topics that are better not to touch upon when talking with an unfamiliar young man. Such forbidden (undesirable) aspects of life include:

• health problems;
• gossip;
• own failure in studies, relationships with the opposite sex;
• other people's mistakes;
• details of sex life.

Starting a conversation is fairly easy, but it can stall as the list of questions to each other depletes over time. Feel free to use the above topics for a conversation with a man and do not worry if you understand them a little.

You will definitely find the topic that interests the young man the most and about which he likes to talk for hours. And you just have to keep the conversation flowing.

It is not very difficult to choose the ideal topics for communication at the first meetings if you are sincerely interested in the personality of a young man and have a certain level of erudition. Moreover, there are several rules, adhering to which, you can turn a conversation into an exciting conversation.

Rule number 1. Talk about topics that are of interest to both you and the young person

Many people say that communication should only revolve around a man, but you are unlikely to be delighted with such a conversation. No young lady can stand a three-hour speech about differences in spark plugs.

The conversation should be of interest to all participants of the meeting. Such a "universal" interest will lead to the fact that both you and the young man will want to meet again in order to continue their acquaintance and communicate further.

Rule number 2. Keep the intrigue

It is definitely necessary to talk about yourself. However, many experts still advise avoiding full "revealing the cards." Men appreciate a certain mystery and understatement in girls. Therefore, limit yourself to a minimum of information about yourself, transferring the conversation (of course, delicately) to his person.

Rule number 3. Know how to listen

The ability to listen is an essential quality to keep a conversation going. This rule consists of several points, the implementation of which will help you create the image of a thoughtful listener and an understanding person:

• insert your own comments during the conversation (“what happened next?”, “very, very interesting”), this will help smooth out hitches and pauses;
• memorize information with which you will not only get to know a young person better, but also choose a topic for conversation on the next date;
• do not interrupt a man when he says something about himself, even if this aspect of his personality is not interesting to you;
• do not criticize the guy's hobbies and do not express categorical judgments, otherwise you risk being misunderstood or getting into an awkward position.

Modern technologies significantly expand the communication capabilities of a person. Now you can chat with a handsome young man not only on a date, but also on VK, Skype, or any popular messenger.

It is better to start communication on the Internet with a guy in a non-standard way. The beginning of correspondence with the words “how are you”, “what are you doing” is now too outdated. Besides, it doesn't make much sense to ask such questions to an unfamiliar young man.

In the online world, starting a conversation first is much easier than in real life. It is enough for a girl to wink, to puzzle the guy with some original phrase. Before chatting on VK, study the page of a handsome young man in more detail, after which you will make an approximate list of common interests or refuse to communicate at all.

There are some win-win topics that you can discuss with a man in VK in correspondence. So, what can you talk about with a guy on the Internet:

1. Today there are many films of various genres, the level of acting. Discuss the plot, actors, interesting facts, clarify your personal impressions in the correspondence. During the discussion, you can also find out what type of girls the guy prefers.
2. Music is another "bottomless" topic for discussion, even if your tastes practically do not match. Starting to correspond, you will discover new musical genres, performers, learn a lot of unusual facts and points of view about singers you seem to know.
3. When communicating on the Internet, on the VK social network, it is extremely convenient to talk about tourism, travel, because you can show photos of the places you have visited. A young person can send pictures of sights that you have not seen yet.
4. By the way, you can also start communication with a story about your childhood and teenage years, which will be decorated with various funny photographs, curious stories, links to the pages of old friends who were participants in the described situation.

You can start a conversation with young men on the Internet with more abstract topics. For example, in VK correspondence, you can chat about the sights of the city where the guy lives (if he lives elsewhere), about the weather and the latest cultural news, technological innovations.

If a guy on VK makes little contact, the results of the correspondence do not satisfy you, try telling the man about something unusual. Or give him a compliment (avoid rude flattery), ask for advice, for example, what to do with a broken computer.

It is curious that many modern couples get to know each other on social networks. At the moment, communication on the Internet is the easiest way to find a guy or a girl. It is important not to be shy to correspond, following the rules of communication, and in this case, you will be able to usefully talk with the guy you like.

In addition, the beauty of correspondence in VK and other social networks and instant messengers is that you can directly illustrate what was said with a suitable video clip, music track or photo during communication.

If, when talking with a man on the Internet, you realized that you like this person, you should not delay with a real meeting.

In most cases, the main goal of communication in social networks (especially on a dating site) is the desire to meet your soul mate.

We only talked about general recommendations for communicating with a man on dates or on social networks. Do not forget that you are a bright individual, so study all the ways, the rules of communication and find the method that suits you personally.

In addition, a girl with a sense of humor, tact and a positive outlook on life will be easy. Therefore, expand the circle of acquaintances and do not hesitate to communicate with the man you like.

Hello, I'm Nadezhda Plotnikova. Having successfully studied at SUSU as a special psychologist, she devoted several years to working with children with developmental problems and advising parents on raising children. I apply the experience gained, among other things, in the creation of psychological articles. Of course, by no means do I pretend to be the ultimate truth, but I hope that my articles will help dear readers deal with any difficulties.

Not only is it difficult for a guy to find a way to a girl's heart - it happens and vice versa!

Often a girl does not know how to communicate with a guy in order to impress him and please him.

What should a girl do, how should she communicate with a guy she wants to like? Let's figure it out together!

Sometimes a woman avoids approaching a man, not because she doesn't like him, but because she's afraid he won't like him.

Konstantin Melikhan

Acquaintance in real life

It seemed that it was difficult for a girl to decide to communicate with a guy, but in order to please him, you still need to think about your behavior. After all, if this is an awesome guy who (or you think so), you will feel awkward and insecure, and this can lead to unnaturalness.

Many girls get lost in such a situation, some close in on themselves, while others begin to behave impudently. Both of these are bad. Just tell yourself the whole truth: "The guy is very nice to me, and I would like him to like me, because of this I am nervous and lose my head." Once you acknowledge the problem, it will become much easier for you. Count to ten and try to relieve tension.

• It doesn't have to be very bold and self-confident. Not everyone likes it when a girl tries to take him by storm. Now, if you see that he is more embarrassed than you, you can be a little brave. Someone has to start! But then still give the initiative to him.

  No need to pretend to be anyone: not a pussy, not a vamp, not an ingenue, not an Amazon. Unless you are a born actress and you can’t live without playing for the audience anyway. Most people are pleased when they are understood - but how can you be understood if you are pretending to be someone?

  What if you start behaving like a determined lady, and he just loves the quiet and modest? Of the two evils: it’s better that he doesn’t like you than your role!

And how should you communicate with a guy in order to please him? Be yourself! At least you will look decent.

Of course, how can you give advice here when you know completely different examples from life:

• Here is one such, she is always in the spotlight, behaves on the verge of shamelessness, obviously plays for the audience, all of herself jumps out to please - and you really like it! Look how many guys are hovering around her. And you will sit, so all modest and natural ...

  Don't worry, guys are not dumber than you, they also understand what this girl is like and are looking not for love, but for sex. Do you want a serious relationship? In contrast, you are even more likely to attract the attention of a guy.

• Talk to him yourself about something neutral: “Don’t you know, they didn’t promise rain today? My clock shows eight - is it already so late? Today, Tanya (Manya, Dasha - who are you visiting) is so cute, right? Are you Tanya's brother? Not?."

  Don't try to strike up a conversation. If the guy wants, he will continue the conversation. You see, these are the rules of the game: he should seek you, not you. Otherwise, he will not be interested.

  If you managed to start a conversation, then in no case do not lie to the guy, do not pretend. Everything secret becomes clear; stupid and senseless lies on trifles can destroy your own.

You want to chat with the guy you met on VKontakte

Well, it happens. The internet makes it easier to communicate.

If usually at the sight of a cool guy you blush, turn pale, drop your glasses and mumble something obscure, now no one sees it. And by the time of a personal meeting, you will already get used to it and react less sharply.

If you haven't been texting yet, find out what he's interested in and ask for his advice. And there's how it will be. He does not want to communicate with you - well, no luck. Maybe he's just so cute on his page, but he's just a monster.

And if you answered, throw another topic for conversation. Maybe you will start texting, and the question of how to communicate with this guy will be solved by itself.

• Check if your photos are good. Maybe you need to remove some?
• Maybe add something interesting? Link to funny video? Your romantic poems?
• Now that you are texting, you can try to find out something about the guy.

  Invite him to answer one or two questions about him (the question: “How much money do you make?” is not good).

• Don't ask a guy to meet you first. Unless you came up with some clever move. For example, you need a book, but he has it. “Oh, can you give it to me for a couple of weeks? I'll get you back safe and sound, don't worry!" - not very cool, but still an option.

Love by correspondence

Well, here you are already texting:

• Don't try to sound like a sophisticated intellectual, especially if you're not, write what you think.
  No need to bombard the guy with dozens of SMS and posts.

  He will get tired of it, and he will not want to communicate with you at all. Actually, this is a regular correspondence, albeit by electronic means. So, it should be informative and mutual.

• Tell the guy about something, ask his advice, thank him, praise him. Now it's his turn.
• Why doesn't he write? Maybe he really is busy. Or does not know what to write to you.

  Two or three times you can take the initiative so that he does not suffer, thinking about what to write to you about. But then let him write at least once.

• Don't impose. Still useless. But let's hope this is not your case.

What's next?

How your relationship will develop further is unknown. But if you are attentive to your loved one, honest and natural, then it is very possible that great and bright love awaits you.

Wish you happiness!